Off the Resume

Nancy B O'Connor
Feb 16, 2020
4 min read

In job interviews they often ask you to walk them through your work experience. You know the part where you exaggerate and say you’re an expert in excel when truthfully you still do not know how to auto sum (speaking generally of course). I thought I would share a couple job experiences that I usually leave off the resume….

The first being my one and only experience in retail. One summer my cousin, Eloise and I, decided we wanted to get a job. I believe this was the same summer that our main mode of transportation was a tandem bicycle. We set out on the bike one day and ended up applying to a clothing store in town. I was 15 at the time, which the store manager found out about later and told me they have a strict rule for only hiring 16 year olds so not to mention my age to any one else. I told her it wouldn’t be a problem, as I hopped on the back of the bicycle and headed straight to the candy store with my first paycheck.

The store was open from 9 am to 10 p.m. My cousin and I were supposed to split the shift. Eloise would work from 9 am to 3 pm and I would work from 3pm to 10pm. We chose instead to work the entire shift together and split the wages. I am fairly certain not much was sold that summer, and spoiler alert the store soon closed that location. It would be hard to say if I was the reason for this closing but I can say with certainty I did not help sales that summer. When customers would ask me if our other store had an item in a different size, I used to call and fake a phone conversation that usually went a little something like this:

Pick up phone, hear dial tone

Wait an appropriate amount of time while smiling at the customer

“ Hi! Nancy again from the Watch Hill store, just want to check to see if you happened to have the searsucker Kelly dress in a small?”

Mouth to the customer “she’s checking”

“Oh no… ok well thanks anyway”

“Unfortunately they just sold the last small!”

The reason I didn’t go through the effort was that because if I did call, and they did have it, I would have to deal with shipping and getting the customer's details…….way above my pay grade.

Our ‘boss’ was probably 22 but you know when your 15 how everyone looks 45. In my mind she was a middle-aged woman in the height of her retail career, in reality I think she had just graduated college and was saving up before moving into Boston.

She was not the nicest person I have ever met and I don’t think was particularly fond of me. One day she sent her friends into the store when I was working to spy on me. She left me a note I will never forget, “ I need someone selling and interacting with customers not a wall flower.” Imagine if she knew about the fake phone calls to the Newport store.

I definitely could have improved my sales technique but I decided I never wanted to be a pushy salesperson. I cannot stand those people in stores, Sarah from J Crew who carried your one pair of jeans to the dressing room, when you were perfectly capable of carrying them yourself and then magically appears at the cash register as they are asking if anyone helped you.

“ Yes Sarah who just ran to tell me to have a good rest of my day, yes she is the one who helped me.”

But the worst is when they don’t appear at the cash register and you are forced to describe them… you know Amanda a little heavier set with frizzy dark hair…

Some days I tolerate them better than others, I remember one day I was going into LuLu Lemon and knew exactly what I wanted and where to find them in the store. I was mentally prepared and committed to spending 100 dollars that I didn’t have on leggings. I walked in and this one sales girl approached me with a “ hey girl hey! How are we on this beautiful day?” I instantly turned around and left. The greatest pair of leggings in the world is not worth that conversation.

I reminded my boss at the end of the summer that I was 15 and would not be returning back. She didn’t put up much of a fight.

The Snuggle bear

Now this one is a crowd favorite. I was living in New York and fresh off a conscious uncoupling from the film company I was working for (another story for another time). My roommate mentioned her boyfriend’s company was looking for people to help out at an event for the day. I was free that day and the money was good so I decided why not. The event was for Snuggle the fabric detergent, and it was a pop up shop in Madison Square Park. I arrived at the training session and was soon informed that I would be the teddy bear mascot, I thought maybe this isn’t too bad at least I will be warm all day and no one will know who I am? I was imagining a bear similar to what you would see as a high school mascot, imagine my surprise when I suited up.

There was basically a jet pack on the back that continuously filled the costume with air, I could only see out of the mouth, and could not walk very far without my handler. I have to say I have never felt closer to being a celebrity, at one point I was nearly knocked off my feet by a group of Asian tourists trying to get a selfie.. I was all over the gram.

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